there's seagulls shitting on my car
seagulls shitting and they just keep shitting
got a wasp's nest buzzing in my ear
a wasp's nest buzzing and it just keeps buzzing

now I'm going to need a mop
and I'm going to need a bucket
and I'm going to have to hire a skip
and shovel all the muck in it
I'm giving off sharks, conducting electricity
I don't know how it started
but it seems it all finishes with

[Chorus]

I've got an inbox full of spam
an outbox full of viruses
I'm going to have to shut it down
and shove another sock in it
I'm giving off sparks
conducting electricity
mulling it all over
whilst standing in a puddle by this
and there's seagulls etc.
some days you've got to laugh