One Size Fits All Lyrics - 1975

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Frank zappa (guitar, lead vocals)
George duke (keyboards, synthesizer, vocals)
Napoleon murphy brock (flute, tenor saxophone, vocals)
Chester thompson (drums)
Tom fowler (bass)
Ruth underwood (vibes, marimba, percussion)
Bloodshot rollin' red (harmonica)

Evelyn, a modified dog
Viewed the quivering fringe of a special doily
Draped across the piano, with some surprise

In the darkened room
Where the chairs dismayed
And the horrible curtains
Muffled the rain
She could hardly believe her eyes

A curious breeze
A garlic breath
Which sounded like a snore
Somewhere near the steinway (or even from within)
Had caused the doily fringe to waft & tremble in the gloom

Evelyn, a dog, having undergone
Further modification
Pondered the significance of short-person behavior
In pedal-depressed panchromatic resonance
And other highly ambient domains...

Arf she said