Sleepy alligator in the noon day sun,
Lyin' by the river just like he usually done.
Call for his whiskey, he can call for his tea,
Call all he want to, but he can't call for me.

Oh no! i've been there before,
And i ain't gonna come around here any more.
Creepy alligator coming all around the bend,
Shoutin' about the times when we was mutual friends,
I checked my memory and i checked it quick, yes i will.
I checked it runnin' some old kind of trick.

Oh no! well i've been there before,
And i ain't gonna come around here any more.

Sailin' down the river in an old canoe,
A bunch of and an old tennis shoe.
Out of the river all ugly and green,
Came the biggest old alligator that i've ever seen!

Teeth big and pointy and his eyes were buggin' out,
Contracted the union, put the beggars to rout.
Screamin' and yellin', he was pickin' his chops,
He never runs he just stumbles and hops.
Just out of prison on ten dollars bail,
Mumblin' bitches and waggin' his tail.